PLANET-OF-HUMOR

Nice Joke “I was sitting in a bus today when a blind person came in. I offered my seat to him. The blind person was very happy and took it. Unfortunately I lost my job as a bus driver.” Cool Joke I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car. YOU DID WHAT?! Cookies. I made cookies for you. Husband And Wife Joke Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years. One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.” The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two. - The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.” - “Are you sure?” asks the fairy. - “Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation. - Poof once more – and he’s 90. Intern...

This page contains a huge collection of very interesting and intelligently selected Hindi jokes sms that are a real delight.

This page contains a variety of jokes Hindi that are taken from ancient as well as recent collections and which are rarely found elsewhere.

Planet Joke Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!” The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.” Guy Joke When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes. Restaurant Joke "Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.” “I know, one of them’s just been serving me.” Math Joke That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053. English Joke Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Here’s an example: "Travis is in a rush." "Travis is in a coma." Dream Joke A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I can’t see my pillow anywhere!” - The ...

Recipe Joke While I was making a huge batch of snicker doodle cookies, I asked my ten-year-old to read the recipe and ingredients off the box to me, doubling them as he went along. He did as he was told. His first instruction: "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees." Gift Joke When he received a journal as a gift, my eight-year-old son was mystified. "Mom, what am I supposed to do with this? The pages are blank." "You write down interesting stuff that happens to you," I said. "So it’s like a blog … on paper." Marine Joke When my ex-Marine father-in-law was at my house, our six-year-old neighbor came by to play with my kids. I asked her if she knew who he was. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said, "I don’t remember what his name is, but I know he used to be a submarine." Skirt Joke I love making clothes for my five-year-old granddaughter. And she, in turn, always seems happy to accept them. The other day, I asked if she woul...

This page contains the most mesmerizing funny adult jokes that do not cross the boundaries of decency by a large margin.

This page contains Hindi funny jokes that are full of classical comedy and offer fun for everyone irrespective of age or gender.

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Fat Joke A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!” Dirty Joke Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time! Train Joke Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket. Girls Joke Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something. New Joke You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct. Funny Joke Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact. Waiter Joke “Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m...

This page promotes dirty jokes in Hindi that may be offensive to some people and not appropriate for others.

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Senior Citizen Joke Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents! Voice Joke A meeting of the “Castrated Anonymous” - High-pitched male voice: "Welcome. I hope you all arrived safe and sound." - Deep male voice: "Yes." - High-pitched male voice: "You in the second row, please leave the room right now." Girlfriend Joke My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. - Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest. Life Joke The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved. Direction Joke Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly? Just stand in the middle of the road for a while. Waiter Joke A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, “Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die...” Te...

Aunt Joke My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?” We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals. Fish Joke I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. Grandpa Joke Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday." Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?" Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer." Friend, "But you can't die of that!" Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we had to shoot him." Doctor Joke Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?" "The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live." "And the bad one?" "I’ve been trying to r...

Bar Joke Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“ Beer Joke If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster. President Joke I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!" Chicken Joke I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Mosquito Joke Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep! Astronaut Joke “I want to be an astronaut!” - “I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?” - “Exactly, so no cha...

Immigrants Joke Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. "Which part did you get?" Offensive Joke "Madam, your son just called me ugly!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..." Horrible Joke One man's trash is another Man's treasure? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted. Death Joke Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet." Dog J...

Son Joke I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!" "I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?" Children Joke At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop. Finally, she blurted out, "I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!" The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss." Quiz Joke Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.” “An iPod?” she guessed....

Sugar Joke Rapeseed goes into the kitchen and opens the cookie jar. He looks inside and closes it. His wife observes the whole episode and says nothing. Again Rapeseed enters the kitchen and does the same thing. His wife asks, Rapeseed, why are you doing that?' Rapeseed replies, 'The Doctor told to check my sugar level regularly.' Movie Joke A Sardar said that he saw a movie 100 times. Reason:- There was a scene in the movie wherein a lady on the banks of a river is about to disrobe. Then suddenly a train passes by and the view is obscured. The Sardar saw the movie 100 times expecting the train to come late some day. Donkey Joke Having lost his donkey Sardarji Uddam got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby sees him and asks, So, your donkey is missing, what are you thanking God for?' Uddam replies, 'I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I, too, would have been missing.' School Joke A ...

Shop Joke In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.” Shop assistant: “Cupcake?” Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.” Age Joke ● At 40 years, "highly educated" and "less educated" are the same. (Less educated people may even earn more money) ● At 50 years, "beauty" and "ugly" are the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. can no more be hidden.) ● At 60 years, "high position" and "low position" are the same. (After retirement, even a peon will avoid looking at his boss) ● At 70 years, "big house" and "small house" are the same. (Joints degeneration, hard to move, only require a little space to sit .) ● At 80 years, "have money" and "no money" are the same. (Even when you want to spend money, you don't know where to spend) ● At 90 years, "Sleeping" and "waking u...

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Husband Wife Joke  A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass. He says: “So what’s bothering you?” She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?” "Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.” Accident Joke One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. "Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory" Paddy shook his head. "Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned" Mrs McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?" Paddy shakes his head. "Not really - he got out 3 times to pee!" Doctor Joke Dr O'Mahony tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John....

Abortion Joke President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” exclaims the President. “It’s the Abortion Bill, Mr. President – what do you want to do about it?” “Just go ahead and pay it.” Politician Joke Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter, Mr. President?” The Vice President inquired. “Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The President beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!” Policeman Joke This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your house?” and George ...

Waiter Joke Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?! Lawyer Joke I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore. Daddy Joke Daddy what is a transvestite? - Ask Mommy, he knows. Google Joke Q: Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. Barber Joke Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks. I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?” He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.” Train Joke An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit. A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train. The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks. Interview J...

Boss Joke Height Of Bad Luck. Your battery is at 2% and you see your Boss upload pictures of himself and his family. Wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs" and your battery runs out! Father Joke Little Johnny asks his father: "Where does the wind come from?" - "I don't know." - "Why do dogs bark?" - "I don't know." - "Why is the earth round?" - "I don't know." - "Does it disturb you that I ask so much?" - "No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything." Friends Joke Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish. The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted. The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted. C...

Sardar Traits How Can You Be Sure Someone Is A Sardar? Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it. Tries to drown a fish in water. Trips over a cordless phone. Thinks socialism means partying. Studies for a blood test and fails. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Puts lipstick on his forehead because he wants to make up his mind. Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. At the bottom of the application form where it says: "Sign Here", he puts 'Scorpio'. Sells the car for gas money. Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead. Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home. Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor. Accident Joke Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy. Sardar 1: Look, so many bandages! Must be a pukka (real) lorry accident case. Sardar 2: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!! Bomb Joke Two Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bom...