What Do You Call Jokes

Senior Citizen Joke
Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

Voice Joke
A meeting of the “Castrated Anonymous” - High-pitched male voice: "Welcome. I hope you all arrived safe and sound." - Deep male voice: "Yes." - High-pitched male voice: "You in the second row, please leave the room right now."

Girlfriend Joke
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. - Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

Life Joke
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Direction Joke
Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly? Just stand in the middle of the road for a while.

Waiter Joke
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, “Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die...”

Tea Party Joke
I took my wife’s family out for biscuits and tea. They weren’t very happy about having to donate blood though.

Knock Knock Joke
Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Well, not Lisa, that’s for sure.

Husband Joke
“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

Son Joke
Son, "Mommy, mommy, daddy hanged himself in the attic!" Mother, "What??!!" Son, "Gotcha, April's fool! He hangs in the garage."

Wife Joke
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

Gift Joke
What did the man with no hands get for Christmas?
No idea. He hasn’t opened his present yet.

Divorce Joke
I want a divorce! - But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part. - I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you.

Woman Joke
A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? - Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”

Wife Joke
Doctor: And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith? Patient: Very well, I’ve been divorced for half a year now.

Name Joke
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, “I want to call my little baby Ellie.” Nurse replies, “I’m sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?”

Girlfriend Joke
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.

Dad Joke
Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home. - That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment.

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