PLANET-OF-HUMOR

School Joke Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe? Military Joke A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge." Blonde Joke One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.”Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The rascal called again" One Liner Joke

जज: (नवीन नवऱ्यास) तुम्हाला घटस्फोट का हवा आहे? नवरा: कारण बायको मला लसूण सोलायला लावते, कांदे कापायला सांगते, भांडी घासायला आणि कपडे धुवायला सांगते. जज: मग त्यात एवढे अवघड काय आहे? लसूण थोडा गरम करून घ्या म्हणजे सोलायला सोपा होईल, कांदे कापण्यापूर्वी ते काही वेळ फ्रीजमध्ये ठेवा म्हणजे कापताना डोळे जळजळणार नाहीत. भांडी घासण्यापूर्वी १० मिनिटे पाण्याच्या टबमध्ये ठेवा म्हणजे लवकर स्वच्छ होतील आणि कपडे धुण्यापूर्वी अर्धा तास सर्फमध्ये भिजत ठेवा म्हणजे एकही डाग राहाणार नाही. नवरा: माय लाॅर्ड, आता मला समजले. माझा अर्ज मला परत द्या. जज: काय समजले? नवरा: हेच की आपली अवस्था माझ्यापेक्षाही वाईट आहे. एक मुलगा देवाला विचारतो, 'तिला गुलाबाचं फूल का आवडतं??? ते तर एका दिवसात मरून जातं....! मग तिला मी का आवडत नाही ??? मी तर तिच्यासाठी रोज मरत असतो.......! 'देव उत्तर देतात, . . . . . . 'भारी रे....! एक नंबर ....! ती समोरच्या दुकानात गेली.... . तिथं दुकानदाराचा तरुण देखणा मुलगा सोडला तर दुसरं कोणीही नव्हतं... . ती थोडीशी लाजुन म्हणाली, 'बोलायचं आहे' तो : बोला... ती : तुम्ही खुप छान

Veterans Joke When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?" Class Joke My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name. "Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained. Daughter Joke Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?" Mother Joke I