Make Me Laugh
Fat Joke
A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!”
Dirty Joke
Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time!
Train Joke
Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket.
Girls Joke
Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something.
New Joke
You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct.
Funny Joke
Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.
Waiter Joke
“Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m sorry sir but you’ll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.”
Shark Joke
Why haven’t there been any shark attacks on lawyers?
Sharks observe professional courtesy.
Family Joke
A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.
Job Joke
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostwriters gear, the rascal said I was fired.
Queen Joke
The Queen takes the visiting President for a ride in a carriage through London. Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly. “I am terribly sorry,” apologizes the embarrassed Queen. The President replies, “Oh don’t worry, if you hadn’t said anything, I’d just think it was the horse!”
Husband And Wife Joke
A woman is at a doctor after her husband’s check-up. The doctor looks serious and says, “Mrs Connelly, your husband is very sick. He needs to rest and not get upset. I will prescribe you some sleeping pills.” “Ok,” nods Mrs Connolly, “and how often should he take those?” “Oh, they’re not for him, Mrs Connelly, they’re for you.”
Grandma Joke
Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?” “Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”
Psychiatrist Joke
A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?” The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.” The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.” The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?”
Dog Joke
I got a really cute dog and called him Threemiles. It sounds great to say I walk Threemiles twice a day.
Chatterbox Joke
If you start to think I talk too much, just tell me. We’ll talk about it.
This is a post on make me laugh.
A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!”
Dirty Joke
Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time!
Train Joke
Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket.
Girls Joke
Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something.
New Joke
You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct.
Funny Joke
Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.
Waiter Joke
“Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m sorry sir but you’ll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.”
Shark Joke
Why haven’t there been any shark attacks on lawyers?
Sharks observe professional courtesy.
Family Joke
A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.
Job Joke
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostwriters gear, the rascal said I was fired.
Queen Joke
The Queen takes the visiting President for a ride in a carriage through London. Suddenly one of the horses farts very loudly. “I am terribly sorry,” apologizes the embarrassed Queen. The President replies, “Oh don’t worry, if you hadn’t said anything, I’d just think it was the horse!”
Husband And Wife Joke
A woman is at a doctor after her husband’s check-up. The doctor looks serious and says, “Mrs Connelly, your husband is very sick. He needs to rest and not get upset. I will prescribe you some sleeping pills.” “Ok,” nods Mrs Connolly, “and how often should he take those?” “Oh, they’re not for him, Mrs Connelly, they’re for you.”
Grandma Joke
Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?” “Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”
Psychiatrist Joke
A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?” The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.” The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.” The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?”
Dog Joke
I got a really cute dog and called him Threemiles. It sounds great to say I walk Threemiles twice a day.
Chatterbox Joke
If you start to think I talk too much, just tell me. We’ll talk about it.
This is a post on make me laugh.
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