Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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Humor

School Joke Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe? Military Joke A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge." Blonde Joke One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.”Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The rascal called again" One Liner Joke
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How To Be Funny

Beer Balancing Prank This is GREAT and works best in a crowded bar. Bet one of your friends that they can’t balance a glass of beer on the back of each hand (on a table of course). When the beers are balanced simply walk out! Well worth the cost…truth is no guy would waste two good beers. Flooding Dorm Room Prank Okay, this is a funny prank. You take a garbage can and fill it about 3/4 way with water. You lean this up against a random dorm room. Knock on the door, run, and hide so you can see it from a distance. When the unsuspecting person opens the door the water will fall into their house flooding it. This is a really funny prank. But don’t get caught. Use Kool-Aid if you have the guts. Peanut Prank Use your cell phone to film yourself sucking the chocolate from chocolate peanuts and spit every peanut in a bowl (if you don’t want your friend to really eat these nasty ass peanuts, just give him regular peanuts). Now give the bowl of peanuts to your friends, when they’ve eaten half
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Marathi Jokes

जज: (नवीन नवऱ्यास) तुम्हाला घटस्फोट का हवा आहे? नवरा: कारण बायको मला लसूण सोलायला लावते, कांदे कापायला सांगते, भांडी घासायला आणि कपडे धुवायला सांगते. जज: मग त्यात एवढे अवघड काय आहे? लसूण थोडा गरम करून घ्या म्हणजे सोलायला सोपा होईल, कांदे कापण्यापूर्वी ते काही वेळ फ्रीजमध्ये ठेवा म्हणजे कापताना डोळे जळजळणार नाहीत. भांडी घासण्यापूर्वी १० मिनिटे पाण्याच्या टबमध्ये ठेवा म्हणजे लवकर स्वच्छ होतील आणि कपडे धुण्यापूर्वी अर्धा तास सर्फमध्ये भिजत ठेवा म्हणजे एकही डाग राहाणार नाही. नवरा: माय लाॅर्ड, आता मला समजले. माझा अर्ज मला परत द्या. जज: काय समजले? नवरा: हेच की आपली अवस्था माझ्यापेक्षाही वाईट आहे. एक मुलगा देवाला विचारतो, 'तिला गुलाबाचं फूल का आवडतं??? ते तर एका दिवसात मरून जातं....! मग तिला मी का आवडत नाही ??? मी तर तिच्यासाठी रोज मरत असतो.......! 'देव उत्तर देतात, . . . . . . 'भारी रे....! एक नंबर ....! ती समोरच्या दुकानात गेली.... . तिथं दुकानदाराचा तरुण देखणा मुलगा सोडला तर दुसरं कोणीही नव्हतं... . ती थोडीशी लाजुन म्हणाली, 'बोलायचं आहे' तो : बोला... ती : तुम्ही खुप छान
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