Funny Phrases

This post contains funny phrases that are good for kids and senior citizens and all in between.

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How To Be Funny

Beer Balancing Prank This is GREAT and works best in a crowded bar. Bet one of your friends that they can’t balance a glass of beer on the back of each hand (on a table of course). When the beers are balanced simply walk out! Well worth the cost…truth is no guy would waste two good beers. Flooding Dorm Room Prank Okay, this is a funny prank. You take a garbage can and fill it about 3/4 way with water. You lean this up against a random dorm room. Knock on the door, run, and hide so you can see it from a distance. When the unsuspecting person opens the door the water will fall into their house flooding it. This is a really funny prank. But don’t get caught. Use Kool-Aid if you have the guts. Peanut Prank Use your cell phone to film yourself sucking the chocolate from chocolate peanuts and spit every peanut in a bowl (if you don’t want your friend to really eat these nasty ass peanuts, just give him regular peanuts). Now give the bowl of peanuts to your friends, when they’ve eaten half ...
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Racist Jokes

Chinese Joke I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629." Black Man Joke On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Asian, one is Mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The Asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the Mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof. Italian Joke Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew! Jew Joke A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewi...
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Funny Kid's Jokes

Recipe Joke While I was making a huge batch of snicker doodle cookies, I asked my ten-year-old to read the recipe and ingredients off the box to me, doubling them as he went along. He did as he was told. His first instruction: "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees." Gift Joke When he received a journal as a gift, my eight-year-old son was mystified. "Mom, what am I supposed to do with this? The pages are blank." "You write down interesting stuff that happens to you," I said. "So it’s like a blog … on paper." Marine Joke When my ex-Marine father-in-law was at my house, our six-year-old neighbor came by to play with my kids. I asked her if she knew who he was. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said, "I don’t remember what his name is, but I know he used to be a submarine." Skirt Joke I love making clothes for my five-year-old granddaughter. And she, in turn, always seems happy to accept them. The other day, I asked if she woul...
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