How To Be Funny

Beer Balancing Prank
This is GREAT and works best in a crowded bar. Bet one of your friends that they can’t balance a glass of beer on the back of each hand (on a table of course). When the beers are balanced simply walk out! Well worth the cost…truth is no guy would waste two good beers.

Flooding Dorm Room Prank
Okay, this is a funny prank. You take a garbage can and fill it about 3/4 way with water. You lean this up against a random dorm room. Knock on the door, run, and hide so you can see it from a distance. When the unsuspecting person opens the door the water will fall into their house flooding it. This is a really funny prank. But don’t get caught. Use Kool-Aid if you have the guts.

Peanut Prank
Use your cell phone to film yourself sucking the chocolate from chocolate peanuts and spit every peanut in a bowl (if you don’t want your friend to really eat these nasty ass peanuts, just give him regular peanuts). Now give the bowl of peanuts to your friends, when they’ve eaten half the bowl, show them the video! They are going to be so Pissed!

Husband Wife Joke
An elderly couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. The faithful couple were recognized by St. Peter and escorted into the welcome center, where they began to take in all the wonder and amazement of the place. St. Peter pointed out the food court and told them that they could of course eat anything and not worry about their health. The husband especially began partaking of the pastries and deserts. The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the joy she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how happy she felt to be there. However, the husband began looking quite grim. His wife inquired what the problem was. The husband sneered, "If it weren't for you and your oat bran muffins & health food, we'd probably have been here 15 years ago!"

This is a post on how to be funny.

1. Tell everyone in a creepy voice "You will die in 7 days". Then act perfectly normal again.
2. In biology class, get everyone to wear aprons and goggles, then when the teacher comes in, act like everything is perfectly normal.
3. Stand up and act outraged when the teacher gives homework. Get someone to pretend to be your lawyer and bring them to school the next day, and threaten to sue the teacher.
4. When the bell rings or you hear any kind of siren, scream that the pigs are coming to get you and act all scared.
5. Wear handcuffs to class, then say "Sorry I'm late, I just had to break out of prison first"
6. Run to the window, then start crying and say that your imaginary friend committed suicide.
7. When the teacher gives you work to do, say you can't do it because it's against your religion.
8. Tell the teacher you don't need to do any homework, because you're going to be sick tomorrow.
9. If someone knocks on the door during class, get everyone to freak out and yell "We're under attack!" and hide under their desks.
10. Roast marshmallows on the bunsen burners. If the teacher tells you to stop, whip out a pack of sausages and roast that. If the teacher tells you to stop doing that, then pull out a whole chicken and spit roast it.
11. Go to the teacher, go close to his/her ear like you're about to whisper, but then yell "CAN I GO MAKE POOPIES IN THE TOILET?!?!"
12. Ask to go to the bathroom. If the teacher says you can't go, say "Fine, I guess I have no choice then." then make weird faces like you're busy crapping your pants in your desk.
13. Get everyone in class to stare in one direction all the time, and then have someone say "shift!" at a random time, and then everyone should look the other way.
14. Put raisins over your teeth and grin when people talk to you.
15. Walk to the front of class, but fall over and pretend that someone tripped you.
16. When the teacher finishes a sentence, get the whole class to stand up and applaud them.
17. When you come back from the bathroom, as soon as you walk into class, stand still for a few seconds and look around you, confused. Then ask "How did I get here?"
18. Say everything in Russian Reversal... for example: In Soviet Russia, number divides you!
19. Bark like a dog.
20. Tell the teacher to prepare for evacuating the school, because you're gonna pull the fire alarm.
21. Speak 'incorrectly', like say things like "ain't" all the time. When the teacher corrects you, nod like you understand, but carry on speaking weirdly.
22. Get the whole class to sing "We don't need no education".
23. When the teacher asks a question, get everyone to put their hands up, and make sure when people get picked that they must say "I forgot what I was gonna say".
24. Meow inbetween words while answering a question.
25. If you're late for class, and your teacher is moaning at you, say "There's no need to be moaning, you still get paid".
26. Laugh like an evil maniac and say "You shall all perish! Perish I say!!!"... then go back to normal very quickly.
27. Ask if you can go to the bathroom. Get up and walk straight into the wall. Frown at the wall, glare at it, and walk into it again. Then smile like a retard and walk out the door normally.
28. If the teacher calls on you to answer something, reply in a creepy voice and say "I'll never tell!!!"... then later on ask the teacher why you haven't been allowed to answer any questions yet.
29. Stare at the teacher and look all serious like. When the teacher notices you staring and stares back, yell "WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?!?!"
30. Stand up and go to the front of the class and introduce yourself loudly and clearly (even if everybody already knows you). Tell everybody that you've been an alcoholic for 3 years now... and when they respond, act confused and say you thought the class was Alcoholics Anonymous.
31. At a totally random time, go sit on the floor for no apparent reason.
32. Ask your teacher what he/she really wanted to do in life instead of being a teacher.
33. Hold your head as if it hurts, then tell the teacher that the voices in your head are arguing with each other.
34. Say that you saw a roadkill squirrel (or other small critter) in the road on your way to school, and talk about how you're going to cook it for dinner. Talk with a redneck kind of accent.
35. Get everyone to raise their hands and ask to go to the bathroom at the exact same time. Make sure that they do this EVERY single time the teacher asks the class a question where he/she wants them to raise their hands.
36. Ask the teacher if you can be excused because you want to skip class.
37. Pretend to shoot your teacher with a finger gun, then say "Sorry, I had to get rid of the alien scum".
38. When there's no noise at all in class, raise your hand and insist that it's too loud in class.
39. Make a map of the class and then use it whenever you need to go get something.
40. Laugh hysterically at a completely random time.
41. Put your hand up in class, and when the teacher calls on you, say "Mommy, I'm scared!"
42. During a test, raise your hand and point at someone on the other end of the room, as far away from you as possible. Insist that that person is using mindreading abilities to cheat off your test.
43. Change your accent every day. Like one day you're Australian and the next day you're Italian.
44. March everywhere like you're in the army. Salute the teachers and call them Ma'am and Sir. Don't move unless they say "dismissed".
45. Bring a vacuum cleaner or broom to class and just start cleaning the class and mumble something about how you can't possibly work in sugh a pig sty.
46. Yell out loudly in class at a completely random time: "When I grow up, I wanna become a PIMP!"
47. Like, say "like" a lot... like that.
48. Tell the teacher that there is a disturbance in The Force.
49. Get everyone to call the teacher the reverse of their name. For example, if it's Mr Jones, call him Senoj Rm.
50. Bring a chocolate with you, then run to the bathroom and smear the chocolate all over your hand. Then go back to class and say "there wasn't any toilet paper".
51. Get one person to say "I agree" after the teacher said something, then have another person raise their hand and say "I second that" and then another person says "I third that" and keep on going until everyone has done it.
52. Write something on a piece of paper and stick it to the ceiling, then tell everyone there's something written on the ceiling. When they look, say "Made you look!"
53. If there's a tiny insect in the class, act totally freaked out and run away screaming. Bring a small plastic fake insect if you don't get real bugs in class.
54. Get several people in class to laugh whenever the teacher isn't looking, then instantly stop and act normal whenever he/she turns around.
55. Knock your heaviest book off your desk repeatedly. Blame it on your imaginary friend.
56. As soon as the teacher starts talking, look at them really concerned, as if they just said something that's really forbidden to talk about or something. Look like you're shocked and appalled for the rest of the lesson.
57. Knit in class.
58. When the class ends, scream for about 5 seconds and freak out completely,then suddenly calm down and go out like everything's normal.
59. When the teacher asks a question to the class, ask the teacher "Shouldn't you know this? You're the teacher!"
60. If it's really hot, try to fry an egg outside on some tin foil when you have PE.
61. If your teacher is going to put on a video for the class, say "I'm really squeamish, can I go sit outside?"
62. Have a sword fight with rulers.
63. Give your teacher a note insisting that you're "the most bestest" in the class and that you should be promoted. Make sure the rest of the note is full of misspelled words and horrible grammar.
64. Ask to go to the bathroom, then get up and run into the wall and pretend like you fainted. Stay there on the floor until someone comes to check on you. Then just get up and go to the bathroom like nothing had happened.
65. Ask the teacher if he/she finds sick pleasure in tormenting innocent children.
66. If there's an empty seat next to you, talk to the empty space as if it's your imaginary friend, and have a long conversation with him/her.
67. Pretend that you have amnesia, like you forget things 5 seconds after someone says it. So keep asking the teacher to repeat herself or ask things like "How did I get here?" every 10 seconds.
68. Move your tongue around in your mouth a lot (so that it's obvious you're moving it), and when the teacher asks what you're doing, say "I'm fighting cavities!"
69. Ask if you can take over as the teacher.
70. In the middle of a test, scream "I can't do it!" and walk out of class. 5 minutes later, walk back in with someone pretending to be your lawyer.
71. Walk around and look confused. Ask the teacher where you are, and then go "Oh, school?! I thought I was going to McDonalds!"
72. Act terrified, and cry out "You didn't have to be so mean!"
73. Write "Objects in the mirror are dumber than they appear" on the bathroom windows.
74. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand and answer "Two!" or "Three!" or anything completely random.
75. Pick some weird uncommon word, like "Unicorn" or "Marsupial" and get the whole class in on it... then see who can make the teacher say that word first, without actually saying that word themselves or making any really obvious suggestions.
76. Introduce everyone to your imaginary friend called Chuck. Then whisper to Chuck that you hate this class.
77. Write a note in class that says "Excuse me Ma'am/Sir, but why are you reading my note?" and make sure the teacher sees the note and takes it.
78. Leave notes on the teacher's desk saying weird things like "Don't forget Tuesday" or "Have you checked the children for lice" or "Did you water the orang-utang yet?" or anything else that sounds weird.
79. When someone talks over the PA, shout "I'm hearing those voices again!!!"
80. Bring some cake to class, and just start eating it randomly in the middle of class. When the teacher tells you to stop, stop eating and put it away. 2 minutes later, take it out again and just carry on eating.
81. Make a petition against petitions and pass it around.
82. Get everyone to stare at the teacher funny whenever they walk past.
83. If the teacher ever pats you on the back, pretend that they injured your back and start crying in agony.
84. At a completely random time, cry out "Everyone's out to get me!"
85. If the teacher asks "Can I help you?" start crying and say "Why won't you people just leave me alone?!?!"
86. If you're having a test and the teacher is walking around, cover your test and glare at the teacher in a suspicious manner. Later on, raise your hand and accuse the teacher of cheating off of you.
87. Get up to go do something, like sharpen a pencil or whatever, then look all confused and say "Help, I'm lost!"
88. Answer every question with the same thing, something random like "Abraham Lincoln".
89. Stumble into class, then speak with a slur, "I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
90. If the teacher asks you where your homework is, say you thought they were joking when they assigned the homework.
91. When someone speaks over the intercom, hide under your desk and say "NO! Not the voices again!".
92. Draw a cartoon of the teacher, making him/her look stupid. Sign the cartoon with a bully's name and leave it on the teacher's desk.
93. Pretend you just slapped a fly, and then say "Mmmm, snack time!"
94. Wear a fake police badge and bring handcuffs to class, then arrest your teacher and haul them off to the detention room.
95. When the teacher's facing the board, have everyone quietly move their desks a tiny bit forward, and if the teacher turns around stop immediately. Rinse and repeat and see how close you can get to the front of the class.
96. When your teacher has finished explaining a really long chapter or something, put up your hand, and say "I'm sorry, can you repeat everything you just said? I wasn't paying attention"
97. Dress up like Dracula or a superhero wearing a cape, then play with your cape all day.
98. In a test, tell the teacher there are "voices" in your head making you cheat.
99. Get the class phone's number, then use your cellphone during class to call the phone every 5 minutes and then hang up.
100. Hide in the cupboard and refuse to come out. Then come out eventually. Then don't go to school the next day, but have everyone else in your class tell the teacher that you're hiding in the cupboard again (make sure it's locked and really hard to force open). See how long it takes before the teacher realizes you're not there...